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"Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870"


If you want better service, why send better men,
And be better yourselves. It will all be right, then.
[Footnote 1: Political death, of course.]
* * * * *
Come on, Ladies!
An Anti-mustache movement has begun in Boston. PUNCHINELLO to explain
that it begins altogether with the ladies, and is, of course, Right
Against the mustaches.
* * * * *
For Lunatics Only.
The latest whim of the Lunatics in one of the Indiana Asylums is the
notion that they can design and build opera-houses. Well, we have lots
of crazy architecture, and more than one gentleman has acknowledged
himself insane for investing in opera-houses. But PUNCHINELLO thinks
that the tastes of the insane would be better encouraged if directed to
the building of Courts of Justice. Every Court-house thus constructed,
would be a monument to the Plea of Insanity.
* * * * *
GLIMPSES OF FORTUNE.
You may not think so, my dear PUNCHINELLO, but it is true. I have had
them. I am not one of your bloated aristocrats--just at the present
moment--but I know as well as any one what WHITTIER meant when he said
"it might have been." As an instance of this, I will just state that it
has not been a very long time since, in looking over the columns of one
of our principal dailies, I saw something among the personals which
seemed to touch my interests in, a very decided way.


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