Instead of going to the house of God that the soul
might be fed with the bread of heaven, it was too frequently the case
that I went to gratify a taste for curiosity, or to get an intellectual
feast. Another error into which I fell, and that, too, a serious one, was
indolence. I was in no way employed for God. Instead of taking my seat in
the Sabbath-school, or going from house to house as a distributer of
tracts, or being in some way or another employed for God, I stood aloof
from all, and preferred idleness to employment. And in thus acting I
sinned against my conscience. I have before stated what were my
convictions respecting preaching; but fear kept me from that path of
duty. I ought to have been engaged in the Sabbath-school; but constant
and excessive confinement--our hours of business being from seven to nine
in the winter, and from seven to half-past ten in summer--and the alleged
want of fresh air, were pleaded as an excuse for not engaging in this
duty.
"I cannot reflect on this period of my life without painful emotion. When
I think of the precious time murdered, time which might, and which ought
to have been employed for the glory of God,--I am filled with sorrow.
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