, and open your mind to him,' 'I cannot
do that,' said I. 'Then write to your leader,' answered my friend. This
was just the advice I wanted; and I determined, by the help of God, to
act upon it.
"Monday evening, at the close of business, I retired to my room; and
after earnest prayer, commenced a letter to my leader. It was nearly
finished: but on reading it over I was not pleased with its composition,
and tearing it in pieces, commenced another. The agony of my mind was now
at its height: my head seemed ready to burst; my brain was bewildered,
and I was in a state bordering on distraction! While I write I seem
almost to pass through this agony again. I finished a second letter! What
I said in it I no more know than a child: I feared to read it over, lest
I should be displeased with and destroy it, as I did the former. I at
once sealed it up, and thrust it out of sight. I then threw myself on the
bed, where I lay for a considerable time, till the exquisite excitement
of the struggle being over, I retired to rest, thankful to God for the
victory I had gained.
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