MR. PUNCH is sorry to find that his fancy sketch of a Guernsey Car
drive has been taken so seriously in some quarters as to give pain and
offence which were very far from being intended. He begs to assure the
honourable fraternity of Car-proprietors and drivers in the island,
that he did _not_ mean to suggest for a moment that there was the
slightest real danger to the public who patronise those highly popular
and excellently-conducted vehicles, or that any actual driver was
either intemperate or incompetent; and that, should such an impression
have been unfortunately produced--which he hopes is impossible--no one
would regret so unjust an aspersion more sincerely than _Mr. Punch_
himself.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE GOLFER'S DREAM.]
* * * * *
LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.
_Mount Street, Grosvenor Square._
DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Your marvellous judgment in the selection of your
"staff"--(I believe that is the correct term to use in speaking
of those who write for the paper, though as a rule a staff is
_wooden-headed_, which I am sure none of your contributors are!--I
can answer for _one_!)--has again placed you in the position
envied of all Journals, viz.,--(_why_ do people put "viz.," and
not "namely"?--it _is_ silly!) that of affording "information"
given by no other Journal! All of which preamble means,--(by
the way, why "pre-_amble_"?--if one is a speedy writer, why not
"pre-_canter_"?)--that _Punch_, in the person of LADY GAY--(that _may_
seem a little mixed, but it isn't)--was the _only_ Sporting Paper
which tipped the winner of the Cesarewitch!
For confirmation of this I refer the sceptical to my last week's
letter, in which I stated that in dreaming of the race I dreamt that
"_Burnaby came to the rescue_"--and if this is not giving the winner,
I should like to know what is! It is true I made _Brandy_ my "verse
selection," but that would only mislead the people who go no further
than the surface (not of the brandy), as anyone who gave the matter a
moment's thought would realise that Brandy is always applied _after_
a rescue! I hear there was a "ton of money" for the winner just before
the start, but I did not see anyone carrying it about, so I suppose it
was what they call "covering money," which, I presume, is covered over
for safety, as it would be risky to walk about a race-course with a
ton of loose money--not that I suppose anyone who goes racing would
touch it, but it _might_ be lost! Anyhow, there was a ton of money
for the winner _after_ the race, which his owner _had_ to take,
willy-nilly, or HOBSON's choice!
The pleasantest feature of the meeting, however, was the re-appearance
of H.
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