I ripped up carpets, and scoured
paint, and swept down cobwebs, I made sweetmeats and winter clothing, I
dug up and set out trees, and smoothed the turf in my garden, and
tramped round my fields with the man behind me, to see if the fences
needed mending, or if the marshes were properly drained, or the fallow
land wanted ploughing. It made me better. All the sickliness of my grief
passed away, and only the deep-lying regret was left like a weight to
which my heart soon became accustomed. We can manage trouble much better
than we often do, if we only choose to try resolutely.
I had but one relapse. It was when I got news of their marriage. I
remember the day with a peculiar distinctness; for it was the first
snow-storm of the season, and I had been out walking all the afternoon.
It was one of those soft, leaden-colored, expectant days, of late autumn
or early winter, when one is sure of snow; and I went out on purpose to
see it fall among the woods; for it was just upon Christmas, and I
longed to see the black ground covered. By-and-by a few flakes sauntered
down, coquetting as to where they would alight; then a few more
followed, thickening and thickening until the whole upper air was alive
with them, and the frozen ridges whitened along their backs, and every
little stiff blade of grass or rush or dead bush held all it could
carry.
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