"First off, it seems a-kind of unjustitude that a man like me
should have a load of Mrs. Scraggses forced on him, whilest a man
like Pete gets the kindest and obliginest sort of woman; but after
all, I was able to take care of myself, and that bunch of wild
cats, too, for a while, and Pete certainly needed a lady with a
good disposition. You'll allus find, on investigatin' things, that
they ain't a mite worse than you thought they was. Mighty often it
is the horny-handed foot of misfortune that kicks a man into the
green pastures of prosperity--the only question is: kin he eat
grass?
"So it come about with Pete, all along the line. He'd gone and got
married so ordinary it wouldn't attracted nobuddy's attention, only
he was so overjoyed to find that I took sides with him that he
sasshayed gayly forth for firewood and cut himself in the small of
the back with the ax. Don't ask me how he done it, It's the only
case on record. Pete was thinkin' of somethin' at the time, and
could only remember a sudden pain in the back. So Pete was laid on
the bed of sufferin' oncet more, him bein' so uset to it he took it
without a holler, only this time he thought it was prutty serious.
"'Zeke,' says he, 'I've come to the cash-up so frequent I dunno
just what's about to happen, but if it should be I was goin' to die
for fair this time, I want Maggy to git my money, and I want you to
take it to her.
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