He had been too thoroughly
frightened to wish to continue in the role of a spiritual reformer,
and he had a growing perception that, with his present motive and
knowledge, the work was infinitely beyond him. He began to fear
that he was like certain physicians, whose skill consists chiefly
in their power to aggravate disease rather than to cure it. He
had found Ida a vain, silly girl, apparently. He had parted the
previous evening from a desperate woman, capable of self-destruction,
and her letter inseparably linked him with the marvellous change.
Thus he gained the uneasy impression that there was too much
nitro-glycerine in human nature in general, and in Ida Mayhew in
particular, for him to use such material in working out metaphysical
and artistic problems.
At the end of his long morning walk he concluded:
"Poor child! after her eyes were opened she could not help seeing
a great deal that was exceedingly depressing. In regard to her
parents, she is far worse off than if orphaned. In regard to herself,
she finds that her best years are gone, and she has neither culture
of mind nor heart--that her beauty is but a mask that cannot long
conceal the enduring imperfection and deformity of her character.
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