I shall not wait and see your look of scorn, or--worse--of
pity, for I could not endure it," and he snatched up his sketch-book
and was about to hasten from the place, when Ida sprang forward
and said passionately:
"Wait. This is all wrong. Answer me this--when you discovered
the awful crime, which in heart I had already committed, how did
you treat me?"
"Your purpose was wicked, but not base."
"You have not intended to be either base or wicked," she began.
"Hush!" he interrupted sternly, "you shall not palliate my weakness
by smooth words, and to a man, weakness and stupidity, in some
circumstances, are more contemptible than crime. Oh, how I envy
Stanton! His course has been straightforward, noble, regal--I have
acted like one of the 'canaille.'"
"You deeply regret then, that your feelings have so changed towards
Miss Burton?" said Ida, with her eyes again fastened upon his face.
"I do not think my feelings have changed towards her," he replied;
"she is admirable, perfect, and I honor her from the depths of my
heart. Don't you see? I mistook my deep respect, sympathy, and
admiration for something more, and I smiled complacently in my
superior way and flattered myself that it was in this eminently
well-bred and rational manner that Harold Van Berg would pay his
addresses to a lady, and that Stanton's absorbing passion was only
the result of ungoverned, unbalanced nature--accursed prig that I
was! While in this very complacent and superior condition of mind
I committed myself to a course that I cannot carry out, and yet
my failure to do so slays my honor and self-respect.
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