BENVOLIO And what to?
MERCUTIO Nay, an there were two such, we should have none
shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou! why,
thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more,
or a hair less, in his beard, than thou hast: thou
wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no
other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes: what
eye but such an eye would spy out such a quarrel?
Thy head is as fun of quarrels as an egg is full of
meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as
an egg for quarrelling: thou hast quarrelled with a
man for coughing in the street, because he hath
wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun:
didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing
his new doublet before Easter? with another, for
tying his new shoes with old riband? and yet thou
wilt tutor me from quarrelling!
BENVOLIO An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man
should buy the fee-simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.
MERCUTIO The fee-simple! O simple!
BENVOLIO By my head, here come the Capulets.
MERCUTIO By my heel, I care not.
[Enter TYBALT and others]
TYBALT Follow me close, for I will speak to them.
Gentlemen, good den: a word with one of you.
MERCUTIO And but one word with one of us? couple it with
something; make it a word and a blow.
TYBALT You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, an you
will give me occasion.
MERCUTIO Could you not take some occasion without giving?
TYBALT Mercutio, thou consort'st with Romeo,--
MERCUTIO Consort! what, dost thou make us minstrels? an
thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but
discords: here's my fiddlestick; here's that shall
make you dance.
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