He was
convinced he would defeat you, and he wanted to avoid fighting you.
But when I said, 'Give up the seat to him,' he froze. Of course,
his seat belonged to his party and not alone to himself; but that
was the test I put him to, and the answer he gave was, 'You want me
to destroy my career in politics! That is your proposal, is it?'
He was not honest either in life or conduct. I don't think he ever
was sorry for me or for you, until perhaps these last few weeks; but
I have sorrowed ever since the day you came to me very day, every
hour, every minute; and the more because I could not tell John Grier
the truth.
Perhaps I ought to have told the truth long ago, and faced the
consequences. It might seem now that I would have ruined my home
life, and yours, and Barode Barouche's, and John Grier's life if I
had told the truth; but who knows! There are many outcomes to
life's tragedies, and none might have been what I fancied. It is
little comfort that Barode Barouche has now given all for payment of
his debt. It gives no peace of mind. And it may be you will think
I ought not to tell you the truth. I don't know, but I feel you
will not misunderstand.
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