But to abandon
Sophia, and marry another, that was impossible; he could not think
of it upon any account. Yet why should he not, since it was plain
she could not be his? Would it not be kinder to her, than to
continue longer engaged to a hopeless passion for him? Ought he not to
do so in friendship to her? This notion prevailed some moments, and he
had almost determined to be false to her from a high point of
honour: but that refinement was not able to stand very long against
the voice of nature, which cried in his heart that such friendship was
treason to love. At last he called for pen, ink, and paper, and writ
as follows to Mrs. Hunt:-
MADAM,
It would be but a poor return to the favour have done me to
sacrifice any gallantry to the possession of you, and I would
certainly do it, though I were not disengaged, as at present I am,
from any affair of that kind. But I should not be the honest man you
think me, if I did not tell you that my affections are engaged to
another, who is a woman of virtue, and one that I never can leave,
though it is probable I shall never possess her. God forbid that, in
return of your kindness to me, I should do you such an injury as to
give you my hand when I cannot give my heart. No; I had much rather
starve than be guilty of that. Even though my mistress were married to
another, I would not marry you unless my heart had entirely effaced
all impressions of her. Be assured that your secret was not more
safe in your own breast, than in that of your most obliged, and
grateful humble servant,
T.
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