And as you have made me fearful by your cautions, my heart at
times misgives me. But I say nothing yet of your caution, or my own
uneasiness, to Mrs. Jervis; not that I mistrust her, but for fear she
should think me presumptuous, and vain and conceited, to have any fears
about the matter, from the great distance between such a gentleman, and
so poor a girl. But yet Mrs. Jervis seemed to build something upon Lady
Davers's shaking her head, and saying, Ah! brother! and no more. God, I
hope, will give me his grace: and so I will not, if I can help it, make
myself too uneasy; for I hope there is no occasion. But every little
matter that happens, I will acquaint you with, that you may continue to
me your good advice, and pray for
Your sad-hearted PAMELA.
LETTER X
DEAR MOTHER,
You and my good father may wonder you have not had a letter from me in so
many weeks; but a sad, sad scene, has been the occasion of it. For to be
sure, now it is too plain, that all your cautions were well grounded. O
my dear mother! I am miserable, truly miserable!--But yet, don't be
frightened, I am honest!--God, of his goodness, keep me so!
O this angel of a master! this fine gentleman! this gracious benefactor
to your poor Pamela! who was to take care of me at the prayer of his good
dying mother; who was so apprehensive for me, lest I should be drawn in
by Lord Davers's nephew, that he would not let me go to Lady Davers's:
This very gentleman (yes, I must call him gentleman, though he has fallen
from the merit of that title) has degraded himself to offer freedoms to
his poor servant! He has now shewed himself in his true colours; and, to
me, nothing appear so black, and so frightful.
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