Don't your heart ache for me?--I am sure mine fluttered about like a new-
caught bird in a cage. O Pamela, said I to myself, why art thou so
foolish and fearful? Thou hast done no harm! What, if thou fearest an
unjust judge, when thou art innocent, would'st thou do before a just one,
if thou wert guilty? Have courage, Pamela, thou knowest the worst! And
how easy a choice poverty and honesty is, rather than plenty and
wickedness.
So I cheered myself; but yet my poor heart sunk, and my spirits were
quite broken. Everything that stirred, I thought was to call me to my
account. I dreaded it, and yet I wished it to come.
Well, at last he rung the bell: O, thought I, that it was my passing-
bell! Mrs. Jervis went up, with a full heart enough, poor good woman!
He said, Where's Pamela? Let her come up, and do you come with her. She
came to me: I was ready to go with my feet; but my heart was with my dear
father and mother, wishing to share your poverty and happiness. I went
up, however.
O how can wicked men seem so steady and untouched with such black hearts,
while poor innocents stand like malefactors before them!
He looked so stern, that my heart failed me, and I wished myself any
where but there, though I had before been summoning up all my courage.
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