You say, said I, that he was sorry for his first offer in the summer-
house. Well, and how long did his sorrow last?--Only till he found me by
myself; and then he was worse than before: and so became sorry again.
And if he has deigned to love me, and you say can't help it, why, he
can't help it neither, if he should have an opportunity, a third time to
distress me. And I have read that many a man has been ashamed of his
wicked attempts, when he has been repulsed, that would never have been
ashamed of them, had he succeeded. Besides, Mrs. Jervis, if he really
intends to offer no force, What does that mean?--While you say he can't
help liking me, for love it cannot be--Does it not imply that he hopes to
ruin me by my own consent? I think, said I, (and hope I should have
grace to do so,) that I should not give way to his temptations on any
account; but it would be very presumptuous in me to rely upon my own
strength against a gentleman of his qualifications and estate, and who is
my waster; and thinks himself entitled to call me bold-face, and what
not? only for standing on my necessary defence: and that, too, where the
good of my soul and body, and my duty to God, and my parents, are all
concerned. How then, Mrs. Jervis, said I, can I ask or wish to stay?
Well, well, says she; as he seems very desirous you should not stay, I
hope it is from a good motive; for fear he should be tempted to disgrace
himself as well as you.
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