So I was forced to
stay till John returned.
As I may not have opportunity to send again soon, and yet, as I know you
keep my letters, and read them over and over, (so John told me,) when you
have done work, (so much does your kindness make you love all that comes
from your poor daughter,) and as it may be some little pleasure to me,
perhaps, to read them myself, when I am come to you, to remind me of what
I have gone through, and how great God's goodness has been to me, (which,
I hope, will further strengthen my good resolutions, that I may not
hereafter, from my bad conduct, have reason to condemn myself from my own
hand as it were): For all these reasons, I say, I will write as I have
time, and as matters happen, and send the scribble to you as I have
opportunity; and if I don't every time, in form, subscribe as I ought, I
am sure you will always believe, that it is not for want of duty. So I
will begin where I left off, about the talk between Mrs. Jervis and me,
for me to ask to stay.
Unknown to Mrs. Jervis, I put a project, as I may call it, in practice.
I thought with myself some days ago, Here I shall go home to my poor
father and mother, and have nothing on my back, that will be fit for my
condition; for how should your poor daughter look with a silk night-gown,
silken petticoats, cambric head-clothes, fine holland linen, laced shoes
that were my lady's; and fine stockings! And how in a little while must
these have looked, like old cast-offs, indeed, and I looked so for
wearing them! And people would have said, (for poor folks are envious as
well as rich,) See there Goody Andrews's daughter, turned home from her
fine place! What a tawdry figure she makes! And how well that garb
becomes her poor parents' circumstances!--And how would they look upon
me, thought I to myself, when they should come to be threadbare and worn
out? And how should I look, even if I could purchase homespun clothes,
to dwindle into them one by one, as I got them?--May be, an old silk
gown, and a linsey-woolsey petticoat, and the like.
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