O how my heart throbbed! and I began (for I did not know what I did) to
say the Lord's prayer. None of your beads to me Pamela! said he; thou
art a perfect nun, I think.
But I said aloud, with my eyes lifted up to heaven, Lead me not into
temptation: but deliver me from evil, O my good God! He hugged me in his
arms, and said, Well, my dear girl, then you stay this fortnight, and you
shall see what I will do for you--I'll leave you a moment, and walk into
the next room, to give you time to think of it, and to shew you I have no
design upon you. Well, this, I thought, did not look amiss.
He went out, and I was tortured with twenty different doubts in a minute;
sometimes I thought that to stay a week or fortnight longer in this house
to obey him, while Mrs. Jervis was with me, could do no great harm: But
then, thought I, how do I know what I may be able to do? I have
withstood his anger; but may I not relent at his kindness?--How shall I
stand that.--Well, I hope, thought I, by the same protecting grace in
which I will always confide!--But, then, what has he promised? Why, he
will make my poor father and mother's life comfortable. O! said I to
myself, that is a rich thought; but let me not dwell upon it, for fear I
should indulge it to my ruin.
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