I could not bear this to be spoken, though it was all I feared of a long
time; and began to exclaim most sadly. Nay, said she, he may marry you,
as far as I know.--No, no, said I, that cannot be.--I neither desire nor
expect it. His condition don't permit me to have such a thought; and
that, and the whole series of his conduct, convinces me of the contrary;
and you would have me invite him to come down, would you? Is not this to
invite my ruin?
'Tis what I would do, said she, in your place; and if it was to be as you
think, I should rather be out of my pain, than live in continual frights
and apprehensions, as you do. No, replied I, an hour of innocence is
worth an age of guilt; and were my life to be made ever so miserable by
it, I should never forgive myself, if I were not to lengthen out to the
longest minute my happy time of honesty. Who knows what Providence may
do for me!
Why, may be, said she, as he loves you so well, you may prevail upon him
by your prayers and tears; and for that reason, I should think, you'd
better let him come down. Well, said I, I will write him a letter,
because he expects an answer, or may be he will make a pretence to come
down. How can it go?
I'll take care of that, said she; it is in my instructions.
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