Williams can get me a
horse, and has made all ready for me: for he has got me the key, which he
put under the mould, just by the door, as he found an opportunity to hint
to me.
He just now has signified, that the gentleman is dead, whose living he
has had hope of; and he came pretendedly to tell Mrs. Jewkes of it; and
so could speak this to her before me. She wished him joy. See what the
world is! One man's death is another man's joy. Thus we thrust out one
another!--My hard case makes me serious. He found means to slide a
letter into my hands, and is gone away: He looked at me with such respect
and solemness at parting, that Mrs. Jewkes said, Why, madam, I believe
our young parson is half in love with you.--Ah! Mrs. Jewkes, said I, he
knows better. Said she, (I believe to sound me,) Why, I can't see you
can either of you do better; and I have lately been so touched for you,
seeing how heavily you apprehend dishonour from my master, that I think
it is pity you should not have Mr. Williams.
I knew this must be a fetch of hers; because, instead of being troubled
for me, as she pretended, she watched me closer, and him too: and so I
said, There is not the man living that I desire to marry. If I can but
keep myself honest, it is all my desire: And to be a comfort and
assistance to my poor parents, if it should be my happy lot to be so, is
the very top of my ambition.
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