--How happy it was they missed my
packet! I knew not what to think of it!--But why should I let every
accident break my peace? Yet it will do so, while I stay here.
Mrs. Jewkes is mightily at me, to go with her in the chariot, to visit
Mr. Williams. She is so officious to bring on the affair between us,
that, being a cunning, artful woman, I know not what to make of it: I
have refused her absolutely; urging, that except I intended to encourage
his suit, I ought not to do it. And she is gone without me.
I have strange temptations to get away in her absence, for all these fine
appearances. 'Tis sad to have nobody to advise with!--I know not what to
do. But, alas for me! I have no money, if I should, to buy any body's
civilities, or to pay for necessaries or lodgings. But I'll go into the
garden, and resolve afterwards----
I have been in the garden, and to the back-door: and there I stood, my
heart up at my mouth. I could not see I was watched; so this looks well.
But if any thing should go bad afterwards, I should never forgive myself,
for not taking this opportunity. Well, I will go down again, and see if
all is clear, and how it looks out at the back-door in the pasture.
To be sure, there is witchcraft in this house; and I believe Lucifer is
bribed, as well as all about me, and is got into the shape of that nasty
grim bull to watch me!--For I have been again, and ventured to open the
door, and went out about a bow-shot into the pasture; but there stood
that horrid bull, staring me full in the face, with fiery saucer eyes, as
I thought.
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