So I got in again, for fear he should come at me. Nobody saw
me, however.--Do you think there are such things as witches and spirits?
If there be, I believe, in my heart, Mrs. Jewkes has got this bull of her
side. But yet, what could I do without money, or a friend'--O this
wicked woman! to trick me so! Every thing, man, woman, and beast, is in
a plot against your poor Pamela, I think!--Then I know not one step of
the way, nor how far to any house or cottage; and whether I could gain
protection, if I got to a house: And now the robbers are abroad too, I
may run into as great danger as I want to escape; nay, greater much, if
these promising appearances hold: And sure my master cannot be so black
as that they should not!--What can I do?--I have a good mind to try for
it once more; but then I may be pursued and taken: and it will be worse
for me; and this wicked woman will beat me, and take my shoes away, and
lock me up.
But, after all, if my master should mean well, he can't be angry at my
fears, if I should escape; and nobody can blame me; and I can more easily
be induced, with you, when all my apprehensions are over, to consider his
proposal of Mr. Williams, than I could here; and he pretends, as you have
read in his letter, he will leave me to my choice: Why then should I be
afraid? I will go down again, I think! But yet my heart misgives me,
because of the difficulties before me, in escaping; and being so poor and
so friendless!--O good God! the preserver of the innocent! direct me what
to do!
Well, I have just now a sort of strange persuasion upon me, that I ought
to try to get way, and leave the issue to Providence.
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