But as every
thing is so frightful to me, I find I am not fit to think of my escape:
for I shall be as much frightened at the first strange man that I meet
with: and I am persuaded that fear brings one into more dangers, than the
caution, that goes along with it, delivers one from.
I then locked the door, and put the key in my pocket, and was in a sad
quandary; but I was soon determined; for the maid Nan came in sight, and
asked, if any thing was the matter, that I was so often up and down
stairs? God forgive me, (but I had a sad lie at my tongue's end,) said
I; Though Mrs. Jewkes is sometimes a little hard upon me, yet I know not
where I am without her: I go up, and I come down to walk about in the
garden; and, not having her, know scarcely what to do with myself. Ay,
said the ideot, she is main good company, madam, no wonder you miss her.
So here I am again, and here likely to be; for I have no courage to help
myself any where else. O why are poor foolish maidens tried with such
dangers, when they have such weak minds to grapple with them!--I will,
since it is so, hope the best: but yet I cannot but observe how
grievously every thing makes against me: for here are the robbers; though
I fell not into their hands myself, yet they gave me as much terror, and
had as great an effect upon my fears, as if I had: And here is the bull;
it has as effectually frightened me, as if I had been hurt by it instead
of the cook-maid; and so these joined together, as I may say, to make a
very dastard of me.
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