The bad
names, fool's play-thing, artful creature, painted bauble, gewgaw,
speaking picture, are hard words for your poor Pamela! and I began to
think whether I was not indeed a very naughty body, and had not done vile
things: But when I thought of his having discovered poor John, and of Sir
Simon's base officiousness, in telling him of Mr. Williams, with what he
had resolved against him in revenge for his goodness to me, I was quite
dispirited; and yet still more about that fearful Colbrand, and what he
could see done to me: for then I was ready to gasp for breath, and my
heart quite failed me. Then how dreadful are the words, that he will
decide my fate in three weeks! Gracious Heaven, said I, strike me dead,
before that time, with a thunderbolt, or provide some way for my escaping
these threatened mischiefs! God forgive me, if I sinned!
At last, I took up the letter directed for Mrs. Jewkes, but designed for
me; and I find that little better than the other. These are the hard
terms it contains:
'Well have you done, perverse, forward, artful, yet foolish Pamela, to
convince me, before it was too late, how ill I had done to place my
affections on so unworthy an object: I had vowed honour and love to your
unworthiness, believing you a mirror of bashful modesty and unspotted
innocence; and that no perfidious designs lurked in so fair a bosom.
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