But she is more and more
snappish and cross; and tauntingly calls me Mrs. Williams, and any thing
she thinks will vex me.
Sunday afternoon.
Mrs. Jewkes has thought fit to give me an airing, for three or four
hours, this afternoon; and I am a good deal better and should be much
more so, if I knew for what I am reserved. But health is a blessing
hardly to be coveted in my circumstances, since that but exposes me to
the calamity I am in continual apprehensions of; whereas a weak and
sickly state might possibly move compassion for me. O how I dread the
coming of this angry and incensed master; though I am sure I have done
him no harm!
Just now we heard, that he had like to have been drowned in crossing the
stream, a few days ago, in pursuing his game. What is the matter, that
with all his ill usage of me, I cannot hate him? To be sure, I am not
like other people! He has certainly done enough to make me hate him; but
yet, when I heard his danger, which was very great, I could not in my
heart forbear rejoicing for his safety; though his death would have ended
my afflictions. Ungenerous master! if you knew this, you surely would
not be so much my persecutor! But, for my late good lady's sake, I must
wish him well; and O what an angel would he be in my eyes yet, if he
would cease his attempts, and reform!
Well, I hear by Mrs.
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