But now I will break this wicked forward heart of mine, if it will not be
taught to hate him! O, what a black dismal heart must he have! So here
is a plot to ruin me, and by my own consent to!--No wonder he did not
improve his wicked opportunities, (which I thought owing to remorse for
his sin, and compassion for me,) when he had such a project as this in
reserve!--Here should I have been deluded with the hopes of a happiness
that my highest ambition could have had aspired to!--But how dreadful
must have been my lot, when I had found myself an undone creature, and a
guilty harlot, instead of a lawful wife! Oh! this is indeed too much,
too much, for your poor Pamela to support! This is the worse, as I hoped
all the worst was over; and that I had the pleasure of beholding a
reclaimed man, and not an abandoned libertine. What now must your poor
daughter do? Now all her hopes are dashed! And if this fails him, then
comes, to be sure, my forced disgrace! for this shews he will never leave
till he has ruined me--O, the wretched, wretched Pamela!
Saturday noon, one o'clock.
My master is come home; and, to be sure, has been where he said. So once
he has told truth; and this matter seems to be gone off without a plot:
No doubt he depends upon his sham wicked marriage! He has brought a
gentleman with him to dinner; and so I have not seen him yet.
Pages:
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371