He was going away in wrath; and I said, One word, good sir, one word
before you read them, since you will read them: Pray make allowances--for
all the harsh reflections that you will find in them, on your own conduct
to me: And remember only, that they were not written for your sight; and
were penned by a poor creature hardly used, and who was in constant
apprehension of receiving from you the worst treatment that you could
inflict upon her.
If that be all, said he, and there be nothing of another nature, that I
cannot forgive, you have no cause for uneasiness; for I had as many
instances of your saucy reflections upon me in your former letters, as
there were lines; and yet, you see, I have never upbraided you on that
score; though, perhaps, I wished you had been more sparing of your
epithets, and your freedoms of that sort.
Well, sir, said I, since you will, you must read them; and I think I have
no reason to be afraid of being found insincere, or having, in any
respect, told you a falsehood; because, though I don't remember all I
wrote, yet I know I wrote my heart; and that is not deceitful. And
remember, sir, another thing, that I always declared I thought myself
right to endeavour to make my escape from this forced and illegal
restraint; and so you must not be angry that I would have done so, if I
could.
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