Of the too tender
impression this made upon me; and how I began to be afraid of my own
weakness and consideration for him, though he had used me so ill. How
sadly jealous he was of Mr. Williams; and how I, as justly could, cleared
myself as to his doubts on that score. How, just when he had raised me
up to the highest hope of his goodness, he dashed me sadly again, and
went off more coldly. My free reflections upon this trying occasion.'
This brought down matters from Thursday, the 20th day of my imprisonment,
to Wednesday the 41st, and here I was resolved to end, let what would
come; for only Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, remain to give an account
of; and Thursday he set out to a ball at Stamford; and Friday was the
gipsy story; and this is Saturday, his return from Stamford. And truly,
I shall have but little heart to write, if he is to see all.
So these two parcels of papers I have got ready for him against to-morrow
morning. To be sure I have always used him very freely in my writings,
and shewed him no mercy; but yet he must thank himself for it; for I have
only writ truth; and I wish he had deserved a better character at my
hands, as well for his own sake as mine.--So, though I don't know whether
ever you'll see what I write, I must say, that I will go to bed, with
remembering you in my prayers, as I always do, and as I know you do me:
And so, my dear parents, good night.
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