And, Mrs. Jewkes, said I, I will pray for you too,
poor wicked wretch that you are!
He turned from me, and went into his closet, and shut the door. He need
not have done so; for I would not have gone nearer to him!
Surely I did not say so much, to incur all this displeasure.
I think I was loath to leave the house. Can you believe it?--What could
be the matter with me, I wonder?--I felt something so strange, and my
heart was so lumpish!--I wonder what ailed me!--But this was so
unexpected!--I believe that was all!--Yet I am very strange still.
Surely, surely, I cannot be like the old murmuring Israelites, to long
after the onions and garlick of Egypt, when they had suffered there such
heavy bondage?--I'll take thee, O lumpish, contradictory, ungovernable
heart! to severe task, for this thy strange impulse, when I get to my
dear father's and mother's; and if I find any thing in thee that should
not be, depend upon it thou shalt be humbled, if strict abstinence,
prayer, and mortification, will do it!
But yet, after all, this last goodness of his has touched me too
sensibly. I wish I had not heard it, almost; and yet, methinks, I am
glad I did; for I should rejoice to think the best of him, for his own
sake.
Well, and so I went out to the chariot, the same that brought me down.
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