And when I have all my proud, and, perhaps,
punctilious doubts answered, I shall have nothing to do, but to make you
happy, and be so myself. For I must be 'Yours, and only yours.'
'Monday morn, near three o'clock.'
O my exulting heart! how it throbs in my bosom, as if it would reproach
me for so lately upbraiding it for giving way to the love of so dear a
gentleman!--But take care thou art not too credulous neither, O fond
believer! Things that we wish, are apt to gain a too ready credence with
us. This sham-marriage is not yet cleared up: Mrs. Jewkes, the vile Mrs.
Jewkes! may yet instigate the mind of this master: His pride of heart,
and pride of condition, may again take place: And a man that could in so
little a space, first love me, then hate, then banish me his house, and
send me away disgracefully; and now send for me again, in such
affectionate terms, may still waver, may still deceive thee. Therefore
will I not acquit thee yet, O credulous, fluttering, throbbing mischief!
that art so ready to believe what thou wishest! And I charge thee to
keep better guard than thou hast lately done, and lead me not to follow
too implicitly thy flattering and desirable impulses. Thus foolishly
dialogued I with my heart; and yet, all the time, this heart is Pamela.
Pages:
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416