I blushed, I believe; yet could not be displeased at the decent and
charming manner with which he insinuated this distant hope: And oh! judge
for me, how my heart was affected with all these things!
He was pleased to add another charming reflection, which shewed me the
noble sincerity of his kind professions. I do own to you, my Pamela,
said he, that I love you with a purer flame than ever I knew in my whole
life; a flame to which I was a stranger; and which commenced for you in
the garden; though you, unkindly, by your unseasonable doubts, nipped the
opening bud, while it was too tender to bear the cold blasts of slight or
negligence. And I know more sincere joy and satisfaction in this sweet
hour's conversation with you, than all the guilty tumults of my former
passion ever did, or (had even my attempts succeeded) ever could have
afforded me.
O, sir, said I, expect not words from your poor servant, equal to these
most generous professions. Both the means, and the will, I now see, are
given to you, to lay me under an everlasting obligation. How happy shall
I be, if, though I cannot be worthy of all this goodness and
condescension, I can prove myself not entirely unworthy of it! But I can
only answer for a grateful heart; and if ever I give you cause, wilfully,
(and you will generously allow for involuntary imperfections,) to be
disgusted with me, may I be an outcast from your house and favour, and as
much repudiated, as if the law had divorced me from you!
But sir, continued I, though I was so unseasonable as I was in the
garden, you would, I flatter myself, had you then heard me, have pardoned
my imprudence, and owned I had some cause to fear, and to wish to be with
my poor father and mother: and this I the rather say, that you should not
think me capable of returning insolence for your goodness; or appearing
foolishly ungrateful to you, when you was so kind to me.
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