I was abashed at this, and silent, fearing I had offended: But he said,
If you attend rightly to what I said, I need not tell you again, Pamela,
not to be discouraged from suggesting to me, on every proper occasion,
the pious impulses of your own amiable mind. Sir, said I, you will be
always indulgent, I make no doubt, to my imperfections, so long as I mean
well.
My master made me dine with him, and would eat nothing but what I helped
him to; and my heart is, every hour, more and more enlarged with his
goodness and condescension. But still, what ails me, I wonder! A
strange sort of weight hangs upon my mind, as Thursday draws on, which
makes me often sigh involuntarily, and damps, at times, the pleasures of
my delightful prospects!--I hope this is not ominous; but only the
foolish weakness of an over-thoughtful mind, on an occasion the most
solemn and important of one's life, next to the last scene, which shuts
up all.
I could be very serious: But I will commit all my ways to that blessed
Providence, which hitherto has so wonderfully conducted me through real
evils to this hopeful situation.
I only fear, and surely I have great reason, that I shall be too unworthy
to hold the affections of so dear a gentleman!--God teach me humility,
and to know my own demerit! And this will be, next to his grace, my
surest guard, in the state of life to which, though most unworthy, I am
going to be exalted.
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