And don't cease your prayers for me, my dear
parents; for, perhaps, this new condition may be subject to still worse
hazards than those I have escaped; as would be the case, were
conceitedness, vanity, and pride, to take hold of my frail heart; and if
I was, for my sins, to be left to my own conduct, a frail bark in a
tempestuous ocean, without ballast, or other pilot than my own
inconsiderate will. But my master said, on another occasion, That those
who doubted most, always erred least; and I hope I shall always doubt my
own strength, my own worthiness.
I will not trouble you with twenty sweet agreeable things that passed in
conversation with my excellent benefactor; nor with the civilities of M.
Colbrand, Mrs. Jewkes, and all the servants, who seem to be highly
pleased with me, and with my conduct to them: And as my master, hitherto,
finds no fault that I go too low, nor they that I carry it too high, I
hope I shall continue to have every body's good-will: But yet will I not
seek to gain any one's by little meannesses or debasements! but aim at an
uniform and regular conduct, willing to conceal involuntary errors, as I
would have my own forgiven; and not too industrious to discover real
ones, or to hide such, if any such should appear, as might encourage bad
hearts, or unclean hands, in material cases, where my master should
receive damage, or where the morals of the transgressors should appear
wilfully and habitually corrupt.
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