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Richardson, Samuel, 1689-1761

"Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded"


One thing, continued he, I have frequently observed at the house of many
a gentleman, That when we have unexpectedly visited, or broken in upon
the family order laid down by the lady; and especially if any of us have
lain under the suspicion of having occasionally seduced our married
companion into bad hours, or given indifferent examples, the poor
gentleman has been oddly affected at our coming; though the good breeding
of the lady has made her just keep up appearances. He has looked so
conscious; has been so afraid, as it were, to disoblige; has made so many
excuses for some of us, before we had been accused, as have always shewn
me how unwelcome we have been; and how much he is obliged to compound
with his lady for a tolerable reception of us; and, perhaps, she too, in
proportion to the honest man's concern to court her smiles, has been more
reserved, stiff, and formal; and has behaved with an indifference and
slight that has often made me wish myself out of her house; for too
plainly have I seen that it was not his.
This, my dear, you will judge, by my description, has afforded me subject
for animadversion upon the married life; for a man may not (though, in
the main, he is willing to flatter himself that he is master of his
house, and will assert his prerogative upon great occasions, when it is
strongly invaded) be always willing to contend; and such women as those I
have described, are always ready to take the field, and are worse enemies
than the old Parthians, who annoy most when they seem to retreat; and
never fail to return to the charge again, and carry on the offensive war,
till they have tired out resistance, and made the husband willing, like a
vanquished enemy, to compound for small matters, in order to preserve
something.


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