And
it is fit it should be so; or else, poor wretches, as we are! we should
look no farther, but be like sensual travellers on a journey homeward,
who, meeting with good entertainment at some inn on the way, put up their
rest there, and never think of pursuing their journey to their proper
home.--This, I remember, was often a reflection of my good lady's, to
whom I owe it.
Eleven o'clock.
Mrs. Jewkes has been with me, and asked if I will have her for a bed-
fellow, in want of a better? I thanked her; but I said, I would see how
it was to be by myself one night.
I might have mentioned, that I made Mrs. Jewkes dine and sup with me; and
she was much pleased with it, and my behaviour to her. And I could see,
by her manner, that she was a little struck inwardly at some of her
former conduct to me. But, poor wretch! it is much, I fear, because I am
what I am; for she has otherwise very little remorse, I doubt. Her talk
and actions are entirely different from what they used to be, quite
circumspect and decent; and I should have thought her virtuous, and even
pious, had I never known her in another light.
By this we may see, my dear father and mother, of what force example is,
and what is in the power of the heads of families to do: And this shews,
that evil examples, in superiors, are doubly pernicious, and doubly
culpable, because such persons are bad themselves, and not only do no
good, but much harm to others; and the condemnation of such must, to be
sure, be so much the greater!--And how much the greater still must my
condemnation be, who have had such a religious education under you, and
been so well nurtured by my good lady, if I should forget, with all these
mercies heaped upon me, what belongs to the station I am preferred to!--O
how I long to be doing some good! For all that is past yet, is my dear,
dear master's, God bless him! and return him safe to my wishes! for
methinks, already, 'tis a week since I saw him.
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