I was so touched with this mournful instance of his excessive goodness to
me, and the thoughts necessarily flowing from the solemn occasion, that I
was unable to speak; and at last relieved my mind by a violent fit of
weeping; and could only say, clasping my arms around the dear generous
man, How shall I support this! So very cruel, yet so very kind!
Don't, my dear, said he, be concerned at what gives me pleasure. I am
not the nearer my end, for having made this disposition; but I think the
putting off these material points, when so many accidents every day
happen, and life is so precarious, is one of the most inexcusable things
in the world. And there are many important points to be thought of, when
life is drawing to its utmost verge; and the mind may be so agitated and
unfit, that it is a most sad thing to put off, to that time, any of those
concerns, which more especially require a considerate and composed frame
of temper, and perfect health and vigour, to give directions about. My
poor friend, Mr. Carlton, who died in my arms so lately; and had a mind
disturbed by worldly considerations on one side; a weakness of body,
through the violence of his distemper, on another; and the concerns of
still as much more moment, as the soul is to the body, on a third; made
so great an impression upon me then, that I was the more impatient to
come to this house, where were most of my writings, in order to make the
disposition I have now perfected: And since it is grievous to my dear
girl, I will myself think of such trustees as shall be most for her
benefit.
Pages:
802
803
804
805
806
807
808
809
810
811
812
813
814
815
816
817
818
819
820
821
822
823
824
825
826