As soon as she sees me, she gets stuck,
so she hands me one of the Flowers. I say, 'Ah, a night-blooming
Pazizum'--then I take a Salt-Cellar out of my Vest and shake some Salt
on the Flower and eat it. I done that with a Piece called 'A Boiled
Dinner,' and it always went big. When she sees me eat the Flower, that
makes her sore, understand? She comes at me with a right-hand Pass. I
fall over a Chair and do a Head Spin. You fix up a strong Line for me
just as I go over the Chair. Then--What's the matter, Cull? Here, Bud,
open your Eyes!"
The Author had fallen in a Heap on the Antique Writing Desk. "Hully
Chee!" exclaimed the Artist. "He's Croaked."
* * * * *
MORAL: A Classic is never Safe Except in the Church Parlor.
* * * * *
_THE TWO OLD PALS AND THE CALL FOR HELP_
Once there was a Married Man who had two Friends whom he had not given
up, even to oblige the Missus. They were two Men whom he had known
since Boyhood's Happy Days away back in Sleepy Hollow. Once in a while
the Man would have the Two around to the House for Dinner.
Of these two Friends, one was a Gusher and the other a Grouch.
The Gusher was eternally bubbling over with Compliments and Kind
Wishes. Whenever he met an Acquaintance he handed him a rhetorical
Yard of Daisies and then smeared him with Sweet Endearments. His talk
never had any specific Purport.
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