6 Hats and talked nothing but Piffle.
The Friend was always making Business Engagements for him and then
letting him know about it later on.
And sometimes Friend would try to choke him and take his Money away
from him and invest it in some shine Enterprise that was going to pay
40 per cent Dividend every thirty Days.
Friend always meant well at that. When he selected the Girl that the
Victim was to marry he was prompted by the most unselfish Motives.
Notwithstanding which, the Victim did the tall Duck.
A Policeman found him hiding under a Bridge and asked, "Are you a
Fugitive from Justice?"
"No," was the Reply. "This is merely a case of Friend."
* * * * *
MORAL: They never seem to be properly Thankful for all that we do in
their Behalf.
* * * * *
_THE YOUNG NAPOLEON WHO WENT BACK TO THE STORE ON MONDAY MORNING_
Once there was a feverish Sure-Thinger who started for the Track with
a Roll about the size of a Lady's Pencil. He wanted to parlee a $2
Silver Certificate and bring home enough to pay the National Debt.
When he stayed at home and marked the Card and made Mind Bets he could
beat five out of six. He estimated that he was losing a Thousand
a Month by fooling around the Store when he might be out at the
Merry-Go-Round showing the Ikeys how to take a Joke.
And now Saturday Afternoon had come and Percy M. Piker was hanging on
the rear end of the Choo-Choo with $7 sewed up in the inside Pocket
of his Vest, while in his Hand there fluttered a batch of Clippings,
written by the Smoke Brothers, showing which ones were sure to win
unless something happened.
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