Once every three Months or so somebody would levy on a
Cow or threaten to Assault, and then the Judge would get a chance to
operate his Graft. But he didn't care so much about the Income, so
long as he could be addressed as Judge. He allowed his Hair to grow
into a long, graceful Cow-Lick that kept falling into his Eyes, and he
looked at the Sidewalk meditatively as he went over to the Grocery to
get his Fine-Cut. Sometimes, when he was far enough from Home, those
who met him and heard him called Judge thought that he was on the
Supreme Bench.
In the course of Time he began to crave a Political Job, so he
began to stump around in the Interests of the Machine. He drove out
to District School-Houses with the American Eagle seated on the
Dash-Board of his Buggy, and when he got on the Platform he waved Old
Glory until both Arms gave out. All of which went to prove that the
Machine should be kept in Power. After he had been spellbinding for
a couple of Seasons a Job Printer conferred upon him the Title of
Honorable. Every time there was a Jim-Crow Speaking, then the Hon.
James Henry Guff showed up with his Voice in a Shawl-Strap and also a
fine Assortment of Platitudes. When the Congressman wrote to him and
asked him to get the Swazey County Delegates into Line, he always
addressed his letter to the Hon. James Henry Guff and in the Course of
Time Guff began to believe.
[Illustration: _Hon. James Henry Guff.
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