When his Daughters went away to Boarding School and were introduced as
the Offspring of Gen. James H. Guff they assumed a Social Leadership.
Gen. Guff led the Grand March at a great many Military Balls. At
a Banquet costing $8 per Plate he sat at the Right of the Chairman
wearing Medals which had been presented to him by the 4th Ward
Marching Club. In his Address he always defended the Soldier against
unwarranted Attacks and protested against hauling down the Flag at any
Time or Place.
If the Government adopted a new Machine Gun, all the Reporters went
over and interviewed Gen. James Henry Guff about it. He wrote a
Magazine Article on the Mistakes of the British in South Africa and
likewise got rid of a few ponderous Opinions on our Policy in the
Philippines.
When he died, the Funeral Procession was two miles long. The Family
had to erect two Marble Shafts so as to find Room for all of his
Titles.
* * * * *
MORAL: True Democracy scorns a Title unless it has a real
Significance, with the Reverse English.
* * * * *
_THE MANEUVERS OF JOEL AND THE DISAPPOINTED ORPHAN ASYLUM_
An old Residenter, who owned a Section of Improved Land, and some Town
Property besides, was getting too Feeble to go out and roast the Hired
Hands, so he turned the Job over to his Son. This Son was named Joel.
He was foolish, the same as a Fox. Any one who got ahead of Joel had
to leave a 4:30 Call and start on a Lope.
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