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Ade, George, 1866-1944

"People You Know"

Joel's Father had a Few Thinks coming to
him. Although he had been double-crossed and put through the Ropes,
he still had a Punch left. He sent for a Lawyer who was even more
Crafty than the one employed by Joel and he said to him: "There is a
Loop-Hole in every Written Instrument, if one only knows how to find
it. I want you to set aside that fool Deed."
Next day the Lawyer came for him in a double-seated Carriage and said,
"They forgot to put on a Revenue Stamp and so the Transfer is off."
"And do I get all of my Property back again?" asked the Old
Residenter.
"You get half and I get half," was the Reply of the Lawyer.
"Give me mine," said the Old Residenter. "I'm from Wisconsin and I
want it in the Hand. Whatever I own from this time on, I carry right
in my Clothes, and any Relative who separates me from it will have to
set his Request to Music." Then he went to a Physician.
"Doc," he says, "they are counting nine on me, but I figure that
before I cash in, I have time to spend all that I have. Look me over
and tell me how long I would last on a Waldorf diet. I want to gauge
my Expenses so as to leave nothing behind for Joel except a Ha-Ha
Message and a few Heirlooms."
"If you want to euchre your Family, why don't you leave it to an
Orphan Asylum?" suggested the Lawyer.
[Illustration: _Second Time on Earth._]
"Nix the Orphan Asylum," said the Old Residenter. "They would bring
a million witnesses to prove that I had been out of my Head for 20
years, and I wouldn't be there to contradict them.


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