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Ade, George, 1866-1944

"People You Know"

I learn that by
a singular Coincidence, all the Old People who leave their Money to
Hospitals and the like are Mentally Irresponsible. In order to prove
that I am in my right Senses, I will Blow mine."
So he went to Palm Beach and other Winter Resorts, at which they
charge by the Minute, and wherever he went he gave a faithful
Imitation of the Cowboy's first Night in Town.
He bought himself a hot Raglan with a Surcingle around it, and a very
doggy line of Cravats, and when he went into the Dining-Room he picked
out a Table which commanded a View of the Door at which the Girls came
in.
All this time Joel was worried. It seemed a Sin and a Shame for an Old
Man to go around spending his own Money.
The Residenter had so much Fun during his Second Time on Earth that
he decided to make it a sure-enough Renaissance, so he married a
Type-Writer 19 years old, that he met in a Hotel Lobby, and then Joel
did go up in the Air.
When she began to pick out Snake Rings, and Diamond Wish-Bones, the
Old Gentleman saw that there was no longer any Hope for Joel.
* * * * *
MORAL: When buncoing a Relative always be sure that the Knock-Out
Drops are Regulation Strength.
* * * * *


_TWO YOUNG PEOPLE, TWO PHOTOGRAPHERS AND THE CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOL OF
WOOING_

Once there was a lovely Two-Stepper who went to a Swell Hop and there
met a Corkerina who had come to visit a School Friend.


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