76. And truly, the Lord let me go thus many months together, and
shewed me nothing; either that I was already, or should be called
hereafter: but at last after much time spent, and many groans to
God, that I might be made partaker of the holy and heavenly
calling; that word came in upon me: I will cleanse their blood,
that I have not cleansed, for the Lord dwelleth in Zion. Joel iii.
21. These words I thought were sent to encourage me to wait still
upon God; and signified unto me, that if I were not already, yet
time might come, I might be in truth converted unto Christ.
77. About this time I began to break my mind to those poor people
in Bedford, and to tell them my condition; which when they had
heard, they told Mr Gifford of me, who himself also took occasion
to talk with me, and was willing to be well persuaded of me, though
I think from little grounds: but he invited me to his house, where
I should hear him confer with others, about the dealings of God
with their souls; from all which I still received more conviction,
and from that time began to see something of the vanity and inward
wretchedness of my wicked heart; for as yet I knew no great matter
therein; but now it began to be discovered unto me, and also to
work at that rate as it never did before.
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