Secondly, I found that
this falling away, must be openly, even in the view of the world,
even so as to put Christ to an open shame. Thirdly, I found those
he there intended, were for ever shut up of God, both in blindness,
hardness, and impenitency: It is impossible they should be renewed
again unto repentance. By all these particulars, I found to God's
everlasting praise, my sin was not the sin in this place intended.
First, I confessed I was fallen, but not fallen away; that is, from
the profession of faith in Jesus unto eternal life.
Secondly, I confessed that I had put Jesus Christ to shame by my
sin, but not to open shame; I did not deny Him before men, nor
condemn Him as a fruitless One before the world.
Thirdly, Nor did I find that God had shut me up, or denied me to
come (though I found it hard work indeed to come) to Him by sorrow
and repentance: blessed be God for unsearchable grace!
224. Then I considered that in the 10th chapter of the Hebrews,
and found that the wilful sin there mentioned, is not every wilful
sin, but that which doth throw off Christ, and then His
commandments too.
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